I’d rather be respected than liked – but what if you can be both?
That quiet reflection came from Mary Barra, CEO of General Motors, as she faced one of the toughest tests of her career. Just weeks into the role, she was called to testify before Congress about a fatal ignition switch defect. Her response became a textbook example of balancing authenticity and authority in leadership—owning the truth with calm honesty while guiding the company through crisis with strength and clarity.
Barra didn’t deflect blame. She acknowledged the pain, took personal responsibility, and committed to systemic change. Her tone was calm, composed, and firm. She didn’t collapse under pressure, but she didn’t pretend she had all the answers, either – a demonstration of vulnerability, the power of which we have explored in a previous post – https://full-potential.com.au/2024/04/15/building-trust-in-your-team/.
Her leadership didn’t just restore faith in GM – it reset the company culture.
So, how do you strike that same balance in your own leadership practice?
Why this balance matters more than ever
The expectations of leaders have shifted.
Today’s workplaces – especially in Australia’s diverse, hybrid, and evolving work environments – demand more than task direction. Employees want to feel heard, seen, and valued. At the same time, they need clear decisions, boundaries, and vision.
It’s no longer enough to be competent – you need to be real.
Authenticity builds connection. Authority builds confidence. When leaders lean too heavily into one and neglect the other, trust erodes.
Signs the balance is off
Too much authority without authenticity:
• People follow orders but don’t feel safe to speak up
• There’s compliance but not engagement
• Innovation suffers due to fear of mistakes
Too much authenticity without authority:
• You’re well-liked but decisions stall
• Boundaries blur, leading to role confusion
• Teams may lack direction or urgency
A healthy leadership presence brings both: the courage to be yourself, and the clarity to guide others.
What does balancing authenticity with authority look like in practice?
Here are four practical shifts you can make, drawn from real coaching and group training work:
1. Lead with purpose, not perfection
Authentic leaders don’t pretend to have it all figured out (there’s that vulnerability again). They’re transparent about challenges but still lead decisively.
Try this:
Next time you’re unsure, say, “Here’s what we know, here’s what we’re still exploring—and here’s what we’ll do next.”
That builds trust and momentum.
2. Own your story, but don’t make it the centre
Share your experiences, values, and lessons – but always in service of the bigger picture.
In communication, we talk about using storytelling to connect. But it’s not a TED Talk about your life – it’s a way to illustrate purpose, signal values, or support a change.
Ask yourself: Does this story help others move forward?
3. Set expectations – and model humanity
Clear expectations are a gift. They reduce ambiguity and foster accountability.
But how you communicate those expectations matters.
You can say, “I expect high standards,” and follow it with, “And I’m here to support you in getting there.”
The combination of structure and support is where authority meets empathy.
4. Be coachable – even as you coach others
No leader is above learning. Invite feedback, reflect out loud, and demonstrate that growth mindset isn’t just a buzzword.
When your team sees you adjusting your own communication or leadership approach, you give them permission to do the same.
In group training sessions, I often remind leaders: Your openness and vulnerability is empowering, and contagious.
The ripple effect of balancing authenticity and authority in leadership
When you find that sweet spot between authenticity and authority:
• Your team trusts your intentions and your decisions
• Difficult conversations get easier
• Engagement rises – not because you’re trying to please, but because people feel respected and clear
And you, as the leader, feel less pressure to wear a mask. You get to lead as yourself – with strength and integrity.
Final thought
Mary Barra didn’t “choose” between being liked or respected—she chose to lead with both authenticity and authority. And she proved that when those two forces work together, trust follows.
The best leaders don’t need to shout to be heard. They lead with presence, consistency, and humanity.
Whether you’re a CEO or leading a small team, the balance is worth pursuing – because when people trust you, they’ll follow you anywhere.
If you or your team would benefit from training or coaching around finding the balance between authenticity and authority, or any of the other leadership, communication and soft skills required to develop outstanding leaders and high performing teams, please book in for a free, no obligation Discovery Session. Alternatively, you can email us at info@full-potential.com.au, or call us on +61 412 403 373. We’d love to chat with you!
